Thinking about sex…
Last night we had perhaps one of the most controversial Every Nation 6pm services yet! LoveLife part 5 – Sex On Fire. “On fire” may have been a bit of an understatement. Words got used and things got said that probably left more than a few feeling less than comfortable. And so I think a few follow-up comments are in order.
1. Although some of the topics brought up during the Q&A may have been shocking (to hear spoken of in church anyway), our intention last night, as well as at any point during the LoveLife series, was not to shock or stir up controversy simply for the sake of it. We (Shirley and I in particular) have no interest in degrading romance and sex by exploiting our culture’s perverse obsession with controversy (especially of a sexual nature). Our desire has and is always to speak honestly, plainly and appropriately about real-life issues in ways that will honour God and help people to come to grips with some very challenging aspects of living for Him.
2. If you’ve been following any of the LoveLife series (specifically regarding my sermons), you will undoubtedly have had at least one or two moments of relative panic and/or confusion. Based on some honest feedback that I’ve received along the way, I’m very much aware of some of the more ambiguous (and in some cases borderline “unorthodox”) statements that I’ve made about sexual intimacy, namely within the context of pre-marriage. Let it be known: I’m not biblically confused, nor am I intentionally trying to confuse anyone. As much as I can appreciate the legitimate and sincere desire to find simple, straightforward answers to real questions (e.g. Is it a sin to masturbate?), I’m also aware of the potential threat of undermining the process of seriously engaging with these issues on a personal level by simply being spoon-fed overly simplistic pat-answers to some very big questions. In other words, I’ve been purposely resisting the temptation to give black-and-white answers in hopes that you will be provoked to search the Scriptures for yourself and discover our Father’s heart on such matters as our sexuality.
3. That said, now let me bring some clarity…
- Sex is a gift from God. (and God only gives GOOD gifts).
- Like all gifts, if abused, perverted or simply used in the wrong way, what was intended as a gift can become a terrible curse.
- Sex is ONLY good (i.e. God-honouring and partner-loving) within the marriage relationship.
- Sexual intimacy outside of the marriage relationship is SIN.
- The Bible doesn’t provide us with a simple list of what is and isn’t “allowed” before marriage. (e.g., kissing, caressing, mutual masturbation, oral, penetration, etc.)
- Your boundaries regarding sexual intimacy must flow out of a personal and BIBLICAL revelation of God’s heart towards our bodies, sexuality, Christlike love, and lifelong covenant relationship (i.e., marriage).
- This makes the whole subject of sex wonderfully complicated and real. I know we’d all love to squeeze our religion into a nifty little box with no question marks. But real life’s not like that… nor is God.
- Ultimately, the desire to say yes to righteous-living and no to sin must flow out of a relationship with God (by grace through faith in Jesus), and never simply a heartless list of rules that we’ve been “told” to adhere to. Sorry.
Well my friends, I hope that was helpful!
Loving life,
Simon
ps – If you haven’t seen the LoveLife promo video yet, it’s definitely a must see! 
Eh, that sounds very nice but in actual fact, the BIBLE has a lot to say about these things, and the early Church (the people who actually knew and lived with the Apostles) wrote down a huge amount that’s relevant.
A good summary is here:
http://www.vatican.va/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a6.htm